Chargers Try to Avoid Getting “T-Boned”

27 Nov

I really don’t know where to start so I’m just not going to. Here is a list of some random thoughts about the sinking shit, er, ship otherwise known as the Chargers.

Final Score Bears 31 Chargers 17:  Chargers lose 5th straight…

Ryan Mathews:  Somebody must be putting bacon grease on Ryan Mathews gloves as a joke…it’s not funny. Also, why does he always seem to be wearing a youth large jersey? He dresses like a slut on Sundays. He obviously has no respect for himself because it appears that he thinks he has to show up in a bare midriff to get people to like him.  I’m not sure, but I think the Chargers wear the powder blues today.  I shudder to think how he is going to show up for this game, perhaps some powder blue stilettos and matching eye shadow to go with all those drive-killing fumbles?

Philip Rivers: He continues to be an amazing quarterback (for the other team)… Rivers has thrown 17 INTs now.  The all time single season record of 42 set by George Blanda seems a little overambitious, but if Philip can pick up the pace a bit he might be able to catch Vinny Testaverde for #2 all time at 35. Which just seems so fitting seeing as how Philip really has been the ultimate #2 (I’m talking about doo doo) this year…

Antoine Cason: He actually got an interception! Cool right? Well sorta. On his return of the INT Jay Cutler broke his thumb. Normally I would find this a little funny but since the Bears next three games are against the Raiders, Chiefs and Broncos respectively, I just find Cutler breaking his thumb really annoying. Screw you Cason! Even when you finally do something good you still find a way to suck…

Nick Novak: The heart and soul of the team hit the crossbar on a 55 yard field goal attempt. A part of me died right there.  Shake it off buddy, we need you today.

Today’s Matchup: Here’s the funny part. I know I keep saying this, but the Chargers still have a chance. The Raiders could very well lose to a good Bear’s team today that won’t look as bad as you might think with their backup QB. And the Chargers get a chance to sweep the Fucking,er, Bucking Broncos at home today. What better way to break a five game losing streak than to play the team you got your last win against? The problem with that logic is that this time Tim Tebow is going to play both halves of the game. Has Tim Tebow told you he likes God lately? Yes, Tim Tebow likes God and it would certainly appear that God likes him right back. Every so called “expert” said Tim Tebow has no chance to play QB at the NFL level yet somehow he keeps winning.  The guy really is quite the enigma. He has completely surpassed Chuck Norris at this point. Here’s some jokes I found online at various locations (they are not mine, and I’m sure they are all recycled Chuck Norris Jokes anyways). Enjoy.

-When Superman goes to bed he wears Tim Tebow pajamas.

-In the beginning there was Nothing. Then Tim Tebow stiff-armed that Nothing and told it to “get a job.” That is the story of the Universe.

-Tim Tebow is the reason Waldo is hiding.

-Tim Tebow calls 4th Downs “Jews” because they are the hardest and most rewarding to convert.

-Tim Tebow CAN believe it’s not butter.

-Before the Boogeyman goes to bed he checks the closet for Tim Tebow.

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