Twas the day before Christmas

23 Dec

Twas the day before Christmas, yet through the AFC West,

Not a team had proved themselves to be best.

The Chargers played games like they just didn’t care,

and hoped that the playoffs would somehow be there.

The Chiefs were nestled all snug in their beds,

while visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads.

I’m not wearing a ‘kerchief as I sip my night cap,

I’m writing a blog post that’s totally crap.

When in the standings there arose such a clatter,

Has Tebow done the impossible and made the Broncos matter?

At first it appeared the Raiders were making a splash,

But now we all now they are just stinky trash.

The moon on the boobs of the new-fallen snow,

No Sam Hurd, I’m not talking about blow.

When what to my wondering eyes did appear?

A Chargers game that mattered and a fridge full of beer.

The Lions a team so tough, mean and quick,

But Ndamukong Suh is a big dirty prick.

Anticipation builds rapid for tomorrow’s game,

Just having thought of it I practically came!

Now Rivers! Now Mathews! Now Norv! (you Vixen!)

On Scifres! On Novak! Go Defense, keep Blitzen!

To the top of the standings! To the top of the wall!

For the love of God! Hold onto the ball!!!

Please please you Chargers, don’t make me cry,

My hopes have now risen to the top of the sky.

You’re playing so well now, in your baby blue,

Don’t revert to your old ways, looking like poo.

And should the season go up in a poof,

you might see me standing on the edge of my roof.

If this season is to keep turning around,

Big Fat Tubby Tolbert must run with a bound.

Norv covered in wrinkles from his head to his foot,

If we miss the playoffs his job is KAPUT!

A bundle of Boys have found their lost sack,

Perhaps you may say they got their groove back.

Norv’s eyes how they twinkle! His dimples so scary!

His cheeks not like roses, dick made out of dairy!

What goes through his head no one could know,

Might these be his last weeks in San Di-E-Go?

Decisions he’s made have caused us such grief,

I wanted to like you but if you’ve been quite a queef.

I’ve never met you but I’m sure that you’re smelly,

When you coach a team tough men turn into jelly.

C’mon Norv Turner! You silly old elf,

If you can’t win this big one then GO FUCK YOURSELF!

Knowing our playbook comes straight from your head,

Is all that I need to fill me with dread!

To take the wild card from the Jets is our work,

Send home Rex Ryan! That large-bellied jerk!

Norv if you can strike your smug winning pose,

You’ll send Rex packing to fondle some toes!

We’re playing so well, keep avoiding Ref’s whistle,

Let’s not lose our swagger, lets not lose our sizzle!

Come all ye Chargers fans lets cheer now with might,

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!


One Response to “Twas the day before Christmas”

  1. J.Llo December 23, 2011 at 1:29 pm #

    Kudos D.Day. I’ve forwarded this to all the Chargers fans I know. You’ve outdone yourself. And I hear congrats is an order to you and Laura!!! Yay!!!

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